Sorry for the long, long break, readers. Crystal recovered far too quickly, and I never had time to write any blog posts. Actually, I wrote them, but I never had a chance to update them. Especially because Crystal put a password on her computer! Hmph. I honestly can't see why she doesn't trust me. Oh, well. It doesn't really matter, because I finally cracked it!

Oh, and she still considers me to be not 'real'. I'm just a stuffed animal, apparently. A fuzzy, pink, stuffed elefante, but one that can also somehow write blog posts and upload them while she's not here! It kinda hurts, especially when I've proved to her over and over that I am, indeed, real.

Either way, readers, I'm back, and this time I ain't leavin'!

--Amy, 1337 h4x0r of Crystal's comp!

That's right, faithful readers. Crystal has returned! Apparently she went to the mountains to ski or something, and somehow ended up getting snowboard lessons.

Now, had I been there, I would have advised her against it, but of course she left me behind; if you remember, she kind of left in a rush.

The good part about thiss is that she's too sore to chase me around anymore, so I'll have control of the blog for a while yet. Hopefully by the time she's recovered she'll come back to her senses and realize that I'm best for the blog.

In the meantime she's also been ignoring me quite a bit, and muttering to herself about a family history of schizoprenia. Hmph. I take this to mean that she thinks that I'm not really here, and that in the stead she's mentally ill.

Rest assured however, readers; I am most certainly not a schizoprenic hallucination.

-- Amy, a living, breathing, elefante.

Today, Anna Nicole Smith died. I found out through blogs on the internet, like many other elephants everywhere. However, when browsing through previous entries on the same blog, I found that they all had posted 'bashing' entries recently, before she died. Some of them had even been posted on the same day as her death. This brought up an issue for me, that I couldn't get away from: most of my fellow bloggers are, indeed, flip-floppers.

I like to imagine that I keep to the same opinions, on the elefante side of things. However, we all change our opinions once in a while when provided compelling evidence. The problem I found was that none of the bloggers I had seen had even admitted that yes, they had bashed them, and they're sorry now.

Why does this suddenly matter so much, after the poor lady is dead? And yet while she was alive, it was just a paparazzi spree? Some of you will say, "Well, yeah. Respect for the dead and all that." Why, when she can't exactly care anymore, do they say, "Oh. Oops," when they know that it hurt her while she was alive?

The whole issue just disgusts me. Come on, people! Grow up! It's no longer seventh grade, where one can be as immature as you want. Please, please, don't do this anymore. What's past is past, but learn from your mistakes. Respect people! And if you don't, at least stick to your opinion.

Flip-flops are for feet. Keep that in mind.

--Amy, strong believer in the virtue of respect.

I found this while stumbling across the web...

Personally, I think that the student has the right of it. Come on, boring old math teacher! It's called creativity. What if there really was an elephant in the way? It's not our fault that we, as a species, are naturally large and slow. Are you bias against us because of our trunks? Or is it our ears?

Whatever it is, lady or man, you need to be more open-minded! Hmph.

--Amy, defender of elefante rights everywhere

...and thanks to those of you who sent me luck. It helped! I would have posted after things calmed down a bit the other day, but it took me a while to recover from my laughing fit.

But I'll stop rambling now for you impatient ones who want to know what happened...here goes:

After attacking me and trying to get the keyboard, Crystal and I had quite a struggle. (And by the way, I was winning.) I escaped under the couch, and watched her try and get at me...kind of funny, I must say. She began shouting again at me, but I ignored it. I tried to escape from under the couch when things were a bit quieter, but she caught me just as I was coming out, and I couldn't get away. Then, for some reason unknown to me, she dropped me and walked out. I aquired quite a few bruises from that, but anyway. I heard her starting her car...I guess she needed to get away for a while.

So now I'll have the place to myself for a few days. Nice, no? Time for a house party!

Amy, born2be Party Girl (And recent master of the house!)

Hello again, faithful readers. (You are faithful by now, aren't you?) The following is a dialouge between Crystal and myself, as soon as she found out that I'm taking over her website.

ME: Hey, Crystal -- I just jacked up traffic to your site by about a gazabillion people.
CRYSTAL: (being stupid and not paying attention to me) Oh, really? How'd you do that?
ME: I took over your website.

At this point she actually starts paying attention to what I'm saying, as opposed to working on some homework. I mean, come on! Of all the boring things you could do instead of paying attention to me, that has got to be the worst...no, knitting. Knitting would be worse. Anyways, on with the story.

CRYSTAL: You what?
ME: I said, I --

And she begins to throw stuff at me. Anyways, in the end she gave in and ... uh-oh ... she's trying to take over the keyboard. Hang on, rea asdlfkjlejafoaisejflaksjdfoiaejsa;lkj bloody elephant alsdkjfoeijaslekjfoasidjflkejaosief alseijroaisejflaksdjfie alseiasealfjkalsekfj asldkjfe

Sorry, readers, it's beginning to get violent...asldkfjelaskejf...I'll have to...sjdflaejoianjflkams finish this later! lasdkjfelasiejfalskejf Wish me luck! asdlkfjeoaiasjefli jlaskefjoasiefjlaskdjflejalsiefj asdflekasjfilajse

Hello, soon-to-be faithful readers. As it is the first post of this blog, I feel it appropriate to introduce myself. I am Amy, the true mastermind behind Pink Elefante. "What?" you say, "but at the top it says 'by Crystal Harris'!" Pah! Look at the picture below.

After seeing that, who can seriously deny that I run Pink Elefante? I am a pink elephant. Crystal is merely my sla-- er, assistant. Of course, she considers it the other way around, but she is wrong. After all, who is writing the blog? Me. And, as you'll soon find, it is all about me.

Enjoy!

--Amy, Queen of the Blog